In Other News

As part of our effort to never be more than three hours from Ethan and Laurel, Lydia and I have decided to move to Minnesota. Lydia received an incredible financial package to attend the University of Minnesota for a master's degree in sociology. Thus, we will be moving to Mankato, Minnesota.

In other news: Exxon Mobil announced the biggest annual profit in the history of business in America. This as gas prices hit record highs around the country. Though I am glad that the high gas prices are finally seeming to affect the way we think about transportation, I am rarely happy with extortion. Let's hope the dems comes through with a gas tax holiday... Though economists say that it wouldn't have a positive or significant effect on the economy, I appreciate the pandering effort.

In other news: George Bush reached a record disapproval rating of 69%. That, coupled with his record set for most vacation days for a sitting president make me think: "hey, this guy's not that good at his job."

In other news: Though, short of a political miracle, Ron Paul will not receive the Republican nomination, there is now a city where his supporters can live out their blissful libertarian utopia. That's right: Paulville! This luscious, fifty acre plot in northern Texas is liberty itself. Bring the kids and you can finally purchase all the lead toys our government needlessly regulates. So long regulation! Hello rickets! (God bless Texas)

In other news: The FORD F-series' reign of terror is over. After 17 years holding the title of "best seller car in America", its sales finally fell. Sales on the fellow evil, the Hummer are also down 60%, an indication that the axles of evil are on their way out. All of this is good news for small-car-owners-who-don't-need-to-over-compesate-for-their-insecunites everywhere!

In other news: The people sitting behind me in the coffee shop are discussing how to interpret the Bible using the Holy Spirit. Apparently, the Holy Spirit makes the Bible more conservative, more Zionist, and more idiotic. "I used to think the Bible said (quote a Bible verse and give the obvious, straight forward meaning). But according to the Holy Spirit, it says (something crazy)." (God bless Texans)

p.s. axles of evil is a trademarked phrase, don't use it... seriously, I will sue.

2 comments:

Laurel said...

we're so glad you've decided to tag along :)

sara without an 'h' said...

I think this is the best blog post I've ever read.
Seriously.
Axles of evil!