I know I don't give advice to local advertisers on this blog nearly often enough. But, let me henceforth end my silence.
Dear local advertiser,
Enough with the "got _____ (insert product here)?" advertising. It is not working anymore. In fact, it is overused so much that I believe people have begun to forget that it used to mean something. We have become inundated with it: "got movies?" "got haircut?" "got car?" "got pizza?" "got gas?" "got pharmaceuticals?" "got Jesus?" "got commercial airlines?" "got tae-bo?"
Enough. Now, I know you - local business owner - may not have been trained in advertising. But please, a little more effort would be nice. What is the thought process that causes you to subject the general public to this? Taking a familiar and beloved slogan and simply replacing its product with your own is hardly creative advertising, and I strongly doubt that it is effective either.
With this random slogan posted on a sign in front of your store, you do not even retain the elements that made the milk commercial work. If you recall, it was the context that made the original milk commercials amalgamate so well. Like the lime in a mojito, like flour in bread, like strange chemicals in American Cheese, this was the essential ingredient.
Think, for instance, back to one of the classics: A business-man - who we are led to believe is evil - is hit by a car. In the next shot, he is in a white room with a plate full of delicious chocolate chunk cookies. Surely this is heaven. Apparently hungry from his journey to heaven, he begins stuffing the cookies into his face in a comic fashion. Then he decides he needs milk to drink with these delicious cookies (whether he is a dipper or not is unclear... I presume he is not since he isn't four). Upon opening the fridge he is startled by the glaring absence of milk. His eyes widen. His jaw drops. "Where am I?" The screen goes to black, with these simple words: got milk?
Now compare this with your method - local business owner. I am in my car driving home from a long day at the office. I see your sign on the road: "got dish-washer?" I now associate your store with my feeling of annoyance. Well done.
For these reason and more, I am requesting a ten-year moratorium on all "got ____" advertisements. I would appreciate your compliance.
If this poor behavior continues, I will be contacting Milk Inc. and requesting them to take legal action.
Also, to the milk company. Who are you people? Who aired this advertisement to begin with? Apparently, milk is its own company and it needs no representative to do its advertising. I am constantly confused when there is an ad for a mere thing with no brand attached. This makes sense in terms of public safety announcements, but milk hardly qualifies as that.
Here is an unrelated picture of Lydia and myself wearing our matching aprons.