Dear Art Garfunkel (Arty),
I couldn't help but notice you the other day when we walked by each other on the waterfront. I'm sure you also noticed me (I am, after all, pretty big stuff around here) and probably thought to yourself, "I have check out Dan's blog." Well surprise, this post is for you.
Let me first say that I am a big admirerer of yours. Not your solo stuff, mind you - that crap was GD awful (and who goes from partnering with Paul Simon to partnering with Amy Grant... that seems like a leap in the wrong direction). Your voice is on some of the greatest songs of all time. I realize these songs were all written by Paul Simon. Nonetheless, you have a very pleasant falsetto and I commend you for that.
But I digress. My reason for writting is much more routine. What I want to say is this: "Get a hair-cut you hippy freak! That haircut scares children and puppies and it scares me even more. On behalf of all humanity, please, please fix it.
Yours truly and very sincerely,
p.s. Arty, if you were "googling" yourself and actually read this, please don't take it to heart. Amy Grant... you might want to take this to heart. (On a side-note: click here to sign the Focus on the Family petition to make googling yourself illegal.)