Alright sports fans! It is now time to play: "Dan: dull-wit or sharp-wit." This is the hit game where I describe something that happened to me and tell you my reaction and let you decided: am I half witted or fully witted?
Today's set-up: Dan walks in to the barber shop to get a quick hair cut.
From the moment I sat down, I knew this barber was a piece of work. She immediately launched into a soliloquy about her son as she began to cut my hair. I mean immediately, she did not even ask me what I wanted done. But apparently her son had hair like mine so she said she knew exactly how to style it. I said,"great, maybe I can learn something." That was my first mistake.
She then proceeded to describe - in great detail - everything she was doing as she did it. Every snip, clip, trim... like she was doing the director's commentary on the DVD extras of the hair cut movie.
Then came the part where we style the hair. Here she said she'd show me the trick that she taught her son. I was intrigued... "go on." Then came the pain. She said to style hair you must first really massage the gel into the roots of the hair... massage isn't the right word... it was more like giving my hair a good pummeling.
"Then," she said, "the hair must be dried." So then next ten minutes were spent with the hair dryer on the hottest setting shooting hot air into my ear canal. "Now we can really style it" she announced. I was still with her, hoping for some stupendous result. But when I put my glasses on and took a look, I quickly realized this was one of the worst and most uneven chop jobs of my life. I looked like how I imagine Medusa looks when she first rolls out of bed after a long night of turning people to stone.
And here comes the part where you get to vote...
She had spent so much time with me - almost an hour for what is usually a 5-10 minute job - and seemed to invest herself so heavily in my hair that I ended up leaving about twice the tip that I normally would (and I'm normally a pretty good tipper). I just felt guilty since she had put so much time and effort into destroying my hair.
So, for the leaving of a good tip for a terrible service, what do you say: Am I dull or sharp, halfly or fully witted? Let's answer this question once a for all.