This is an actual conversation I had with a very nice woman this past Sunday. She is one of the sweetest people I know, but the conversation was almost as disturbing as the guy who wanted me to incorporate a Jewish midget rapper into a church play as Zaccheus (if you've blocked that from your memory, you can refresh yourself here).
Anonymous woman: So Dan, are we going to be doing any good valentines days songs at church next week?
Dan (thinking that was a joke): Oh yeah, "puppy love," "wonderful tonight..." we got all the good ones.
Woman (taken aback, possibly offended): No, I mean like love songs from God.
(Dan tries to regain his composure and gives a look that says, "tell me more")
Woman: I've always wanted to have a service with a "Valentine's Day Card from God" theme.
Dan: Oh... well, I'd be happy to take any song suggestions.
Woman: I'll put a compilation cd in your mail-box. I just think we have to recognize Valentine's Day in the church.
Dan: ... have a good afternoon.