Three Love Letters

Warning: this blog post may be a bit weirder than I intended. I debated whether to post it or not. I suppose you know the outcome of my internal debate.

Jonathan K,

You don't know me and I don't know you. And yet, my affection for you is blossoming like a cherry tree in spring-time. For you, dear sir, though you have not literally saved my live, have come fairly close. Specifically, your google app, "Forgotten Attachment Detector"* has helped to prevent catastrophe time and time again. For oft have my emails claimed, "I have attached to this email," or "see attachment" and lo, there is no attachment for I have forgotten to attach said attachment. Then, I realize that I have sent an email that was supposed to have an attachment without the attachment attached. NO MORE!!! For your application scours my draft to discover if I have made allusion to an attachment, yet forgotten to attach the attachment. And if this be the case, you let me know. Your pop-up is sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. "It seems that you might have forgotten to attach attachments," it says, "Send this message without attachments?" And I am saved! Saved! Saved from the humiliation of a forgotten attachment. Saved! And thus, Jonathan, I send you an emoticon of my feelings towards you. ;-) (wink face)

Rufus Wainwright,

Your concert was astounding. I was so thrilled when you came out for the second encore and played "Poses." I decided then and there that I would like for you to be my baby mama. I talked it over with Lydia and she agrees entirely.

Doogie Howser,

I never watched your show, but this made me laugh. Thank you.



*to activate this application for yourself, open Gmail, click "settings", then "labs" and scroll down until you see this blessed application.