Senseless Carnage and Sensibility. It's like the Jane Austen, but updated for the modern viewer, i.e., with limitless carnage. It has the same basic plot, except that in this version, when Mr. Dashwood leaves his estate to John, the sisters vow to take their revenge. Senseless carnage ensues.
Pride and Predator. This is fairly self explanatory. Basically, an alien crash lands on earth and starts to kill everyone. The twist is that it happens in the upper echelon of early 19th century England. Typical Hollywood thriller, but this time with period precise costumes.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Subtitled, "The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem." This one stays closer to the original Pride and Prejudice plot, but now, with a more appropriate level of Zombie cannibalism. Instead of attending galas and balls, the heroine is a Zombie slaying warrior. When Mr. Darcy shows up, the plot takes the romantic turn as the couple becomes an 18th century version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
The Importance of Being an Earnest Vampire. This is basically a mix of the absurd Oscar Wilde wit and the plot of Twilight. The tag-line is based on an actual Oscar Wilde quote: "The only way to get rid of violent temptations is to yield to them..."
Begin your guessing... starting now.
p.s. One of these real movie plots is actually going to be produced by Elton John.