Still Need Convincing??? My Encounter With a Real, Living, Undecided Voter. (Also, a whole lot of somewhat annoying parenthetical comments)

So, today I met a real, living undecided voter. She was everything I had come to expect from undecided voters, namely, incoherent. She said she liked McCain but, didn't want to vote for him because - though she believed in God - she didn't believe in the "Christian God" (who apparently is backing the McCain/Palin ticket). She didn't like Obama because "he is a socialist." She was considering voting for Nader; which is good, but this led me to believe that she either a) didn't know who Nader was or b) didn't know what socialism was. (On a parenthetical side-note: I know Nader is not a socialist, but his policies line up much closer to the socialist platform than Obama). I asked why she supported Nader, she said, "I don't know... I just think he's like... umm... I don't know. I like him." Obviously, she had given this a lot of thought. (Another parenthetical comment: I love Ralph Nader! He has done more than 99% of politicians to positively impact the lives of Americans). (Also: I have absolutely no problem with people going for third-party candidates, I merely have problems with people who are contently and totally uninformed, yet still vote. Democracy can only work with an informed electorate).

(Sorry about all the parenthetical comments).

Well, I recently found a person who endorsed Obama and should change the minds of all undecided voters. John Mellencamp [yes, the John Mellencamp] has recently endorsed Barack Obama:

John Mellencamp is small town America (and visa versa)! By way of extension, therefore, small town America just endorsed for Barack Obama! And, if what I've been hearing from the Republicans is correct, this means an endorsement from real America (not the fake America of the city folk, with their half-cafe, no foam, soy lattes).

In case you aren't convinced that Mellencamp represents small towns, just read the lyrics to his song, "small town"*:
Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity
And he goes on to mention small towns another dozen or so times. I'm not entirely sure, but I believe that this song very well may hold the record for "most mentions of the phrase 'small town' in a song." Given this fact, I believe that he must represent all small town persons.

And, Sarah Palin said it best: "we grow good people in our small towns." (I think this might be the first time anyone has ever said "Sarah Palin said it best.") Therefore, Obama was also just endorsed by good people.

So, to all the undecided voters out there, just remember, a vote for Obama is a vote for the real America, wherein good people reside, and where they eat real lettuce: iceberg/head lettuce.

(Again, sorry about all the parentheses.)

*If you don't know the song, just sing these words to the tune of "Jack and Diane"; it is virtually the same song, with only slightly different words.


Reuben S said...

I hate John Mellencamp...and yes, you city folk aren't real Americans.

Join the Ron Paul Revolution! Yeah!

ethan said...

thank goodness we have celebrities to keep us informed about politics.

I knew they were good for something.