10 Things I Have Learned From This Picture (and why my life will never be the same)

This picture is another gem from the Answers in Genesis website. (Why do I keep looking I this website you ask?… the same reason I sometimes watch Fox “news”… because I apparently hate myself.)

Here are the ten things I have learned from this picture.
  1. Non-Christians/Humanists are pirates.
  2. “6 days” is the foundation of Christianity (I think because creation is the first thing in the Bible… I’m not sure though)
  3. I am that traitor in the bottom of the castle who is shooting at his own foundations. My aim is very bad because I wasn't introduced to guns and the NRA as a young child. Boo.
  4. Christianity has no “evil” balloons, as opposed to the humanists (they have six... we popped one of them).
  5. What is with the Christian guy shooting in the wrong direction altogether?!? Get in the war, idiot! (In all fairness, he may be shooting at the Islam castle that is next door)
  6. Apparently, millions of years = racism. Stupid me, I used to think that the church propagated racism. It turns out racism wasn’t invented until evolution the invented.
  7. It looks like the pirates are blowing up two more balloons! What will the evil be?! The suspense is killing me.
  8. Oh no!!! The look-out at the top of the Christian castle is napping! Somebody wake him up so he can shoot at the humanist pirates!
  9. Apparently, Christians either invented floating rocks, or God sent another flood (I’d say global warming, but we all know that was a hoax invented in 1988 by the liberal humanist pirate media).
  10. The Christian foundation is made of rock. The humanist foundation is made of dirt. Really, what we need to do is forget the cannons and grab us some shovels.
And that is what I learned from this picture.

2 comments:

Sara said...

hilarious!

i showed my mom, and she thought so, too. we just had a discussion at lunch about the church and school splits that occurred in my hometown as a result of some stubborn traditionalists insisting the Christian schools teach a literal 6 day creation. they also insisted that the female teacher who was an elder be fired. because we all know that women can't be elders.

Ethan said...

i learned that secular humanism is a party with balloons. but why did they build there castle so close to those boring christians?